Dear Sarah Louise,
Know that even though we have not been talking as much lately, I think of you often. I read your book, and admittedly hoped rather selfishly that I might find myself in it somewhere. I should know better than to think things might have changed. You’ve always been so blinded by those gorgeous northern lights.
I know what we have as women is hard to talk about openly. I know that no one would understand, and I’ve never wanted to hurt Todd, or put your family’s stability into question.
Do you remember those cross-country track days? Sweaty on the field, the way I’d catch you looking at me up out of the corner of your eye, hand on your beating chest, breathing hard and whispering poetry to me? You were a barracuda then too. We’d hold hands under the desk and the cheat notes on your palms would rub off on my sleeves. I’m wearing my heart there now Sarah, I hope you know that.
During the campaign I’d watch you on TV, cursing the anchors that’d hound you for every blunder. To me your just hometown Sarah Heath watching me play street hockey and inviting me to tea parties. They demonize you for your quick tongue, but I still want to kiss you full on the lips. Am I crazy for disagreeing with your opinions but still loving you for mouthing off?
I know it’s against your beliefs but you can’t convince me you don’t think of me Sarah. I have pictures of you half-naked in the summer time. Posing like a playmate, practicing at being eye candy. You always wanted to model, and even placed in that pageant, but in the end you were too much of a rogue to stand anyone telling you how to dress, how to walk, and what to say. Guess in the end you had to do all of that anyway huh?
Don’t you ever miss me? The sleepovers? The almost too close encounters that lasted for hours. I know you felt it to. We’d both pretend to be asleep and gravitate toward each other, but it was intentional Sarah. I know you felt my breath on the back of your neck. I could tell by the subtle way you’d exaggerate the curve of your spine so that it would fold into mine. Our PJ’s preventing us from really touching. Was I the only one who made you feel safe? Who keeps you safe now Sarah? Is that why you have so many guns?
I now we never exactly saw eye to eye but you used to always say, our means are different, but our ends are the same. You always looked so strong, and talked so big. I saw myself in you and ate up every word. But we didn’t end up together Sarah. In another life we might have been those girls banned from their own prom. We might have stood up for something bigger then all those elephants in the house combined. Know that I love you Sarah, always have, and I support you even when I should probably turn away.
PS. Just remember, the real difference between hockey moms and pit-bulls Sarah, is that pit-bulls don’t wear assigned uniforms, and they play for whatever team they like.
Sincerely,
America
